I Promised Myself
by Yellowbrie3
Summary: Brittany Pierce made a promise to herself when she was five years old can she keep it ?
1. Chapter 1

Just a thought I had. Give it a try. Reviews are always welcome.

I do not own Glee or anything to do with the Army

I Promised Myself

Chapter 1

I was five when I subconsciously decided I wanted nothing to do with the army ever again. I stood in the pouring rain on a cold October day with my left hand clasped tightly with the older version of myself's right hand. My mother was dressed in a nice black dress holding tightly to an umbrella while every once in a while glancing down at me.

My little black dressed was soaked by the time family, friends and associates were able to throw a rose on the deep mahogany casket. My little black mary janes were no longer keeping my feet warm and my tights were stuck to my tiny legs. My godmother Holly carefully picked me up when she noticed I was shivering. She handed me a yellow rose, my favorite color, and told me to place it carefully on the casket.

Tears were streaming down my face as Holly held me close to her body I buried my face in her neck and inhaled her warm vanilla scent. My mother hadn't said anything to me in several days therefore I was clinging to the next best thing, the younger version of herself. Holly moved the wet blonde hair from my face whispering that everything was going to be okay.

Holly did her best to get my mother to head back to the limo with the rest of us but she just continued to stare at the coffin and said nothing. The young blonde shook her head at her sister and started her trek back through the mud to the warm vehicle. I waved once more towards the casket and blew it a tiny kiss, something we used to do with each other all the time. Holly squeezed me tightly before lowering me into the the big black limo. She carefully climbed into her seat where I immediately climbed into her lap. Her touch quickly calmed me down and would do so for the rest of my life.

October 12, 1999 was the last day I saw my mother and my father. That was the worst day of my life and the day I subconsciously decided I would never have anything to do with the army again.

Eighteen years later and my "mom" was the loudest person in the stands as I was graduating from UCLA with a degree in journalism! Now it's time to find a job and get myself out into the real world. I was hoping that the magazine I had done my internship at would hire me and I could feel like a real adult. Maybe even have my own writing column, kind of like Kate Hudson in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" fabulous movie. Except I would change my title to either guy or girl depending on who I was with at the time.

A beautiful Saturday morning three weeks after graduating and my world changed for what I thought could be the better. Boy was I wrong. Mom wanted a coffee from Starbucks and I wanted to get some writing done so we took up shop for a little while this way we could spend some quiet time together away from home and all the madness. Twenty minutes into writing I looked up to see the most beautiful woman walk in. She walked over to the counter and patiently waited for her drink. She caught me staring which caused me to blush and look down.

I felt a kick under the table and looked up to see my mom smirking at me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the brunette beauty walking towards me and before I knew it she was introducing herself and then asking me to get dinner which I graciously accepted. We exchanged numbers and then she was gone before I knew. Something I would eventually have to get used too.

I sat down again refusing to make eye contact with my still smirking mother. I thought about the beautiful woman I had just met. There were three things I noticed right away, amazing chocolate orbs, a killer smile, and a dog tag tattoo on her left wrist that said Sgt. Lopez with the quote "tomorrow's never promised."I promised myself I would never have anything to do with the army, well I was pretty wrong about that decision. Once Santana Lopez came into my life my whole world was flipped upside down.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: There's a time jump here and flashbacks. It will all come together I promise… Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 2

Santana POV

I woke up from a restless sleep, on a cot in a tent that far too hot for anyone. I missed my family, normal weather, regular showers and just being able to hangout. If this were 4 years ago you would not hear me complaining but times have certainly changed.

As a Sergeant First Class, I am to lead my group of men and women to the best of my ability. I give orders and they follow them. When rules aren't followed in my line of work people die. I have the utmost respect for everyone under my leadership. Today we are headed out on a mission that is quite dangerous. We're still in Iraq and our mission has been given.

I gather my thoughts and roll out of my cot. I tuck my dog tags into my army green t-shirt, grab my backpack, helmet, vest with all essentials, glasses, and gun, now I'm ready to go. OH one more thing. I slip my favorite picture of Brittany, Keegan and Lily into my left boot and I'm finally on my way. PVC Fabray and Berry follow me out while rounding up the rest of the troops.

After what felt like 15 hours of walking I decide to split up the group and make our way to mission spot 1.

Suddenly gunshots and coming from every which way, it's all I hear before Fabray yells "Sergeant look out!" A grenade had been thrown and suddenly everything goes black.

_On our first date I picked up a very nervous blue-eyed beauty. We had been texting all week and when I finally came up with the perfect date I asked her out. I know I had originally asked her to dinner but this girl was special I had to do something better._

_Now LA is a beautiful place do not get me wrong and people come from all over to see it, but I wanted to do something quiet, just the two of us._

_I hopped out of the car so I could open the door for Brittany. She smiled shyly at me and offered a soft thank you while getting in my beat up pick-up truck. The drive was quiet but comfortable. _

_I drove up a large dirt hill and I felt the tension from Brittany, she was nervous._

"_You okay Britt?" I looked over quickly and she just nodded while continuing to stare out the front windshield. "We're almost there our destination is just at the top of this hill" I took a chance and reached for her hand clasping them tightly assuring her everything was okay. She smiled softly and squeezed my hand back._

_I put the car in park when we finally reached the top of the hill. This was my favorite part of LA you could see everything from here. _

_Blue eyes were glued to the city and she just smiled that beautiful smile. God how did I get so lucky? It's only been a week but this girl is amazing. _

"_Wow Santana this view is beautiful" she breathed out and without hesitation I responded yes all the while staring at her. She blushed and looked down. I laughed and hopped out of my truck to grab everything we needed. I spread out the blue quilted blanket, a picnic basket full of food, and small blue-tooth radio. I grasped Brittany's hand and led her to sit on the blanket and get comfortable while I unpacked the food._

"_I didn't realize how little picnic baskets held until today so I just packed some peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches and Yoo-hoos, I hope that's okay" the blonde just looked at me with her crystal blues and smiled. Her silence made me a little uneasy so I quickly tried to backtrack "I'm sorry we can go to a restaurant and do something more fancy, this was stup…" suddenly I was cut off with a soft finger tip. _

_Blues locked with brown when she suddenly spoke "I love this Santana, so far it's the best date I've ever been on, sorry I was quiet I was just taking it all in. This is really great thank you" I smiled softly while looking down at our clasped hands. This girl turns me into mush. _

_After eating my fantastic sandwiches Brittany cuddled up against my side to get warm while we stared out over the city. We had been quiet for a while and when she spoke I nearly jumped out of my skin._

"_What's your favorite color?" the blonde asked simply _

_Almost immediately my response came, "red. Although recently blue seems to be a close second." Another shy smile and I laughed while placing a gentle kiss to her head. _

_I wanted to ask my own questions and decided to keep up with the simple ones. "What's your favorite movie" (standard date questions). _

_She pondered for a minute while overlooking the city. I wrapped my arms softly around her waste waiting for an answer. _

"_Dirty Dancing!" I laughed at her answer and she pouted. I can't take the pout. "I'm sorry, it's just that movie is so old Britt." Oh that felt nice off the tongue. _

"_Well San" she emphasized that nickname obviously noticing mine for her. "My mom and I used the watch that movie when I was younger and I loved to dance. We learned the entire ending routine before I was nine years old" she looked up at me with a smug smile. _

"_Well that is pretty impressive, I think you'll have to teach me some day" she nodded while snuggling impossibly closer to me. We spent the next two minutes going back and forth with the normal cliché date questions. Although this date was far from a cliché and my feelings for this girl were out of the world. _

_Music was softly playing in the background when all of a sudden a very familiar song game "Now I've had the time of my life…"_

_Blue eyes lit up and basically dragged me off the floor. I clearly did not know the routine but I did let Brittany lead me in a very soft slow dance. Butterflies erupted I my chest when she finally looked at me. Such a beautiful girl I can't get over it. We continued to sway slowly when I titled her chin to look into her eyes. _

_I leaned in slowly waiting for Brittany to meet me halfway. When I heard her breath hitch I took my chance and captured her perfect lips between mine. Brittany wrapped her arms tighter around my neck and pulled me as close as possible. Her tongue flicked my bottom lip asking for permission that was immediately granted. The kiss felt like it lasted forever when we finally broke apart for air. _

_Brittany and I separated slowly with shy smiled on our faces. God was she perfect._

_I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her closer to me for a few minutes longer. I realized the temperature had dropped when Brittany shivered in my arms. _

_I checked my watch noticing the time "Ah Cinderella I think it's time we get you home before you turn into a pumpkin." _

"_Aren't you wonderful my prince" she said we a laugh. We gathered all our belongings and headed to the truck. I helped Britt into the truck and started our drive back home. _

_I pulled up in front of her mom's house but refused to let go of her hand that was secured in my lap. _

"_Well my lady it is time to say goodnight" she pouted but I leaned over to kiss that pout away. _

"_Text me when you get home San, I really had an amazing time tonight, thank you for taking me" her eyes lit up when I nodded and leaned over to kiss her again. She waved and did a slow job into her house. Once the foyer light was off I was on my way with the biggest smile on my face. I promised myself I wouldn't fall for anyone again…_

"LOPEZ! LOPEZ can you hear me?!"

"Sarg! Can you hear me, give me something, anything!"

I couldn't see anything but I could damn well feel everything. The pain. I felt the pain. I heard voices but I couldn't quite make them out. My radio is only a few feet away if I can get through all the debris.

More shouting. More pain. Then darkness.

I promised myself…I promised them.

Thoughts?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Brittany jumped from her sleep when she heard the phone ring loudly. She checked the clock and noticing that is was 6am, she had at least 15 more minutes of sleep. Who the hell is calling the house this early? She hadn't heard from Santana in a few days but she was used to that, hopefully she would get a phone call today.

On the third ring she dragged herself out of her and Santana's king sized bed to grab the phone.

"Hello" Brittany answered with a sleepy tone wondering if maybe her mother would be on the other end.

"Hello is this Mrs. Brittany Lopez-Pierce?" a strange man questioned on the other line.

"Yes this is she, who's calling?" now she was worried.

"Mam I'm with the United States Army and I'm so sorry to tell you this but your wife Sergeant First Class, Santana Lopez-Pierce, has been reported missing. We are doing everything in our power to locate her, you will receive a phone call soon. Best wishes and our prayers are with you."

Brittany dropped the phone before answering the man "Mam? Hello? Mam?" he got nothing.

Brittany's worst fear had come true, her wife was missing, possibly dead. She promised herself she wouldn't do this. Santana promised she would come home.

The blonde slowly walked to her son Keegan's room, the three year old was peacefully sleeping. He had his little arm wrapped tightly around his eagle stuffed animal his Mommy gave him before her tour. She carefully moved his blonde hair out of his face and lay in bed with him.

She knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep and she wasn't ready to call her mother to tell her the news. Brittany felt like she was going to break. Keegan felt his mother's presence and snuggled into her side. She smiled at her son's actions while continuing to stroke his hair.

Keegan was a beautiful little boy, he had soft features like Brittany. He had bright blue eyes, golden blonde hair, and fairly light skin. Those were probably the only qualities he had gotten from Brittany his personality was all Santana. He even had her cute smirk. Staring at her son Brittany thought back to the day Santana asked for them to move in together. After a traumatizing encounter with her roommate's things between the two moved at what felt like lighting speed.

_The bubbly blonde knew she was going to fall for the Latina after just one date. Santana was home on leave and the women found themselves spending more and more time together._

_Brittany had moved out of her mother's house after she landed a job writing an advice column for young women. She was finally making a decent paycheck and was ready to face the world on her own. Santana at the time had been living with her army friends Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry. The three of them were all on leave together, unsure of when they would be returning to the Middle East. _

_Eventually Santana was spending more and more time at Brittany's place. The final straw though was walking in on her two best friends in quite the compromising position._

_Mortified and realizing that she needed to give her friends space she packed a small bag and headed to her car. Sadly Santana noticed that she had a flat tire after driving over a nail while she was out that day. She grabbed her bag and started the walk to the bus stop in the now pouring rain. The bus dropped her off two blocks from Brittany's._

_She rang the bell and patiently waited for her girlfriend to open up. When the blue-eyed girl saw her girlfriend she couldn't help but smile at how pathetic she looked. From the top of her head to the bottom of her soles the Latina was drenched. Brittany quickly ushered her inside. _

"_Shit San you must be freezing!" all the smaller girl could do was nod. "Go take a shower, I'll make you some tea" the brunette smiled and leaned up to give Brittany a kiss on the cheek. _

_After a long hot shower Santana finds her girlfriend waiting for her on the couch. Lord T was nestled into her side while she watched FRIENDS reruns. Brittany immediately felt the Latina's presence; she lightly tapped the spot next to her on the couch inviting her to sit. Lord Tubbington moved quickly to the other side of Brittany while Santana curled into her girlfriend. _

"_Hey B?" _

"_Yeah Sanny?" _

_The Latina wanted to ask Brittany to move in together. She doesn't want to impose on Brittany though but she just can't live with Faberry anymore, she gets the chills just thinking about what she saw. She decides to grow some lady balls and just ask the girl. _

"_I don't want to live with Q and Rachel anymore, things are progressing in their relationship and I think they need their own space. Plus I walked in on them ass naked before I came here and I think I'm scarred for life" her palms are sweating and she hasn't even said what she wanted too yet. _

"_Okay Sanny we can start looking for a place for you, maybe something is available in my building?" she the happy blonde responds. _

_Santana knows she has to speak up now and just ask, worst she can say is no. Although, that would really suck. _

"_Well Britt that's something I wanted to talk to you about. We've been dating now for 8 months and I'm thinking we could maybelivetogether?" she rushed out while looking down refusing to make eye contact with Brittany. _

"_I'm sorry San but what did you say?" she asks while ducking her head to find her girlfriends eyes. The brunette looked so vulnerable but she really didn't hear what she said. _

_Brittany grabbed Santana's hands and brought them to her lips. She was trying whatever she could to relax the other woman. She kind of had an inkling now of what Santana was asking her so she decided to take the lead on this one. "Ask me again Santana, just a little slower honey" she smiled._

_Santana took a deep breath before chestnut met ocean blue. "Brittany, I want to live together, with you, together, forever together" she rambled out and Brittany could not help but laugh at the girl. The brunette's brows furrowed when she heard the blonde laugh and started to backtrack immediately. She was wringing her wrists and getting up to leave when a soft porcelain hand grasped her tan one. _

"_I would love nothing more than to live with you Santana, I thought you'd never ask" she pulled the Latina into a fierce kiss, one that escalated quickly. Brittany deepened the kiss while Santana tapped her thighs. Brittany took the hint and let Santana lift her off the floor. "Take me to OUR room Sanny" the brunette growled while practically sprinting into their room. The two made love for hours before finally falling asleep tangled together. _

_Six months into their relationship Santana asked Brittany how she felt about marriage. Once she saw those blue eyes light up she knew the blonde wouldn't turn her down. _

Brittany snapped out of her thoughts when her son started to whimper in his sleep. This was the first time that Santana was away from her children on a tour. Some would think Brittany would be used to Santana leaving by now she'd been doing it for years, unfortunately every time her wife left Brittany stayed with a pit in her stomach. This was the longest tour yet. The couple had been married for seven years now but the longest the Latina was gone was a year. This tour could last up to three.

When the Latina got the phone call she was so afraid to tell Brittany that they didn't speak for days. She didn't want to leave her children and her wife. The kids were so young and she was afraid they would forget her, especially her daughter who was only 6 months old. She knows her wife would never forget about her but what if the blonde got sick of waiting for her? Or what if she never came home?

Keegan continued to whimper in his sleep while trying to snuggle closer to his mother. The older blonde carefully lifted the three year old and went to check on her daughter. Keegan rested his head in Brittany's neck while wrapping his arms around her neck. She smiled at how adorable he was in his sleep.

Brittany rested Keegan in the middle of her bed going over to the crib to check on Lily. The baby was the spitting image of her mother, dark brown hair, tan colored skin, chubby cheeks with one dimple on the right, but she had gorgeous bright blue eyes like her Mama. The little girl slept soundly and Brittany refused to wake her up. She turned on her monkey mobile knowing she would sleep for at least another hour.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" the three year old screamed startling his mother who quickly rushed over to the bed.

She lifted the little boy into her arms "Mamas here baby" ocean blues now rimmed red shuffled closer to his mother's embrace. "Tell Mama what happened Keegs."

"I-I-I, whens Mommy comin home?" the little boy asked and Brittany's heart broke. She had no idea when her wife would be home or if her wife would return. She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts knowing she had to answer her distraught son.

"Mommy will be home soon Keegan, I promise, Mommy will be home soon" she kissed the top of his head and rocked him slowly and rubbed her back, trying to lull him back to sleep.

Once his breathing had evened out Brittany let the tears fall. She promised herself she wouldn't do this. Santana promised her she would come home.

Thousands of miles away Santana was still buried under the rubble of the building that had exploded. She wasn't sure how long she had been down there or if she was ever going to be found.

The Latina was definitely on the first floor in a room that was completely encased by concrete and steel. She had fallen a few floors though because she was on at least the third floor at one point. It would take hours to find her and even longer to get her out, if they could.

She tried her best to evaluate her injuries while keeping herself conscious. Her right shoulder was most likely dislocated. Her left leg broken, she could see the femur that broke the skin. A couple of ribs had been broke in the fall and she could feel blood trickle down her face from a head lac. She knew she was in serious trouble.

Doing her best to sit up while using one arm she searched for her gear bag. The Latina knew she needed to make a tourniquet for her leg and try to stop the bleeding on her head. Luckily her bag wasn't far away so she could grab it will one hand.

The brunette pulled out a t-shirt that she would use to tie around her leg wound. She popped her shoulder back into place best she could while using concrete as leverage. She wrapped her leg as tight as possible with one good arm one still injured.

It was getting dark now and she could feel herself losing consciousness again. The world went black once more and all she could think of was how she promised them she would come home but right now she wasn't so sure if she could keep that promise.

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**Reviews are always appreciated and welcomed! Thanks for reading!**


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